One key point I’d like to impress upon parents is that—strange as it may sound now—there can be something really positive about bullying. Think about the times when you’ve felt really good about yourself. Go ahead: Think of a few examples of times when you felt proud of yourself. Got it? Most of the experiences […]
Long-Term Consequences of Bullying
Even when the bullying doesn’t end in broken bones or death, it can have long-standing consequences for all involved—the target, the bully, those who assist the bully or the target, and the observers. You may have seen talk shows where formerly bullied kids come to say “look at me now” to their old tormentors. There’s […]
Social Dominance Theory
According to Social Dominance Theory, there is a hierarchy in all group situations. Someone’s always going to be at the top of the ladder and someone’s always going to be on the bottom. Now, of course, no one wants to be the one on the bottom—therefore, they want someone else to be on the bottom. […]
Bullying Statistics – Where the Power Lies
Bullying Statistics: 85% Do Nothing Statistics on bullying show that, on any given day in a classroom, bullies and targets usually constitute 15 percent of the population. That means that the other 85 percent of the children serve as observers in the bully dynamic. Interestingly enough, these observers may be the most powerful actors in […]
3 Types of Bullying
There are three main types of bullying with different probable effects. Physical Bullying This is the one that’s easiest to identify. Punching, kicking, hair-pulling, bra-snapping, tripping, shoving someone into a locker— these can all be physical bullying episodes. Maybe surprisingly, this is usually the type of bullying with the fewest long-term scars for the target. […]
Sibling Rivalry and Bullying
Kids test out their power and aggression with each other first, generally because there’s a natural age imbalance, but how it develops and progresses is a function of parenting. If kids find out they can get away with it and aggression pays off, it will continue and turn into bullying. Sibling rivalry is really just […]
Why Are Kids Bullied?
Bullies will find any excuse to pick on a target. Too tall. Too short. Too fat. Too skinny. Too smart. Too stupid. Poor. An out-of-fashion haircut. Glasses. Braces. Different religion. Different race. Perceived homosexuality. Poor athletic ability. Flat-chested. Developing breasts early. A stutter. Teacher’s pet. Shy. Disabled. Any type of perceived vulnerability will make a […]
Who Are the Bullies?
Although most kids will “test out” bullying by testing out their power, the majority quickly discover they’re not cut out for it. A child proves to be a true bully if he keeps up the role for months or years, loses his empathy with these incidents, or if his initial forays into bullying are exceptionally […]
Why Is Bullying Getting Worse?
People sometimes ask me if there’s a “bullying gene.” No, not as far as we can tell. Is it because of neglectful parents, birth order, the media .. . ? Probably a little of everything you’d imagine. But it makes many people wonder why bullying is getting worse. Babies are born with certain temperaments. Some […]
Bullying Isn’t Just a Playground Problem
For generations, we’ve heard and passed on the same advice about how to deal with bullies—and yet, the bullying problem seems to be getting worse, not better. Maybe that’s because the advice doesn’t work? Ignore the bullies and they’ll go away. Bullying is a normal rite of passage. Just tell the teacher and it’ll stop. […]
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